Chinese Knockoffs of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & iPhone5

Mighty Mutant Power Turtles

Today’s convergence presents itself in the form of these two gooey Chinese knockoffs. Up top, we’ve got everybody’s favorite MIGHTY MUTANT POWER TURTLES. They’re not teenage, but the fella in the bear mask will toilet paper your house. And they’re not ninjas, but the clear leader (as noted due to the presence of his antlers) will harness the power of Dixon Ticonderoga and assault you with a very sharp pencil. All of this turtle energy is expended in the name of battling THE SECRET GOO. But what’s the Secret Goo???

Chinese iPhone 5 Bootleg

Perhaps the Mighty Mutant Power Turtles are trying to get their turtle hands on the latest Goophone? Why wait for the iPhone5 when you can get a bootleg Goophone? With a 2011 study showing that 1:6 iPhones are smeared with fecal matter, nothing says hygiene quite like the name “Goophone”.

All this talk about “Goo” brings me back to 1990 by way of Sonic Youth. Enjoy this musical pairing from the days when Kim and Thurston were still the wife and husband all indie couples aspired to be…

 Knocking Off

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