Bottled Brooklyn: New York’s Dirt in Pretty Packaging

Bottled Brooklyn

I like to imagine that when the folks behind Bottled Brooklyn came up with their idea, someone shouted, “We’ve hit paydirt!” Because that’s what this popject is: it’s dirt collected from Brooklyn, Manhattan, The Bronx, Queens and Staten Island, and you’re supposed to pay for it.

Bottled Brooklyn

The website for Bottled Brooklyn declares these tubes the company’s “premier art piece.” That is such a ballsy rebranding of free filth, I find myself kind of impressed. They continue:

This specially designed glass test tube contains cloth that has traveled throughout one of New York City’s most famous boroughs and has the stains to prove it. Because our products are hand-made and not manufactured, each and every piece is unique and full of character.

What you’ll actually get for $25 a piece or $96 for the set is a muslin cloth stained with traces of NYC dirt, grass, water and luck. (Luck being an obvious euphemism for “pee”.)

Bottled Brooklyn

Bottled Brooklyn is a subdivision under The Ramification Project LLC, a lifestyle company that grows independent brands rooted in creative concepts. I know the natural inclination to a product like this is to be as snarky as possible, but somehow I find it kind of charming. Not charming enough to pay for dirt mind you, (If I want some Park Slope dirt, I’ll just go get it myself…) but they have a simple premise, nice packaging, a clean website and social media presence. Clearly someone cares about selling their home turf..

Bottled Brooklyn

Lest you detract points from Bottled Brooklyn for stating the obvious above (“This product is not edible and not intended to be opened.”), you know their lawyers made them write it after receiving BULK orders from this “strangely addicted” Virginia woman. Get your rocks off here! (Authentic Oakland dirt sold in the spent shell casings of BART police officers coming soon…)